Darlene Deer, 25

Darlene Deer passed at dusk last Wednesday after a brief encounter with a 1997 Jeep Cherokee grill. She had a short career in acting, best known for her title role in the film, Bambi Does Pacific Coast Highway, one of a series of porn films based on Disney characters. Despite being famous in the venison porn industry for the seductive tilt of her head and her big eyes, she found that  porn-deer roles were rare so her career was short and she spent most of her life grazing alongside a highway. She and her first husband, Darren Buck, known for his 18-point rack, bore two fawns each spring, until he suffered a lingering death when caught in the sight of a 30/30. Later, she married an old friend of both hers and Darren’s, Benny Bunny, who played the role of Thumper in her first film. They became advocates for the controversial right to interspecies marriage and the banning of deer blinds as unfair advantage to hunters. She is pre-deceased by Benny after the swerve of a Pirelli failed to miss him on his daily romp across Jackson Road to the lettuce patch. Guests to Darlene’s memorial service are asked to bring a buck knife and tanning tools. In lieu of a funeral march, Manfred Mann will play “Blinded by the Light.” Darlene will always be remembered for her shyness, love of pea shoots, and clover.

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photo by David Braud

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