Interview with Rupert Vulture

The unscheduled end of Season One of Roadkill Obituaries resulted not from the tedium of writing or picture taking, nor from the end of hurried humans in automobiles, but from the dramatically improved response times from scavengers in middle Tennessee. We interviewed one such scavenger, Rupert Vulture.

Roadkill Obituaries (RO): Rupert, first off, thanks for taking the time to speak with us today.

Rupert Vulture (RV): Yeah, no problem. It’s been a fairly slow morning and I’ve done plenty of circling so this is actually a nice break for me.

RO: As I mentioned earlier, it’s been really tough finding fresh roadkill lately and considering you guys are really the specialists in this subject, we thought you’d have some helpful information for us. In your opinion, why the lack of roadkill on the streets the last couple months?

RV: Well, the quantity really hasn’t changed that much. It’s been more of a supply and demand issue. Despite the recession, Williamson County real estate continues to grow. More industrialization means more cars; more cars means more roadkill; more roadkill means more of us… you get the picture. Lots of competition for what’s out there.

RO: So what you’re saying is there are more birds scavenging, and therefore we are seeing fewer dead animals on the streets.

RV: Exactly. And there’s a lot of excitement in the air around here. Early bird gets the worm… or in our case the carrion. Unless you’re out at 4:30 or 5 in the morning, you’re probably not going to be snapping your prized pictures of opossums and rabbits.

RO: Yeah… you guys are definitely clearing the bodies quickly. No evidence of fowl play left for us to document. Should we expect you guys to ease up or do you see this as a long-term trend.

RV: No, I think that you’ll start to see more roadkill out there soon. There are definitely seasons where we’re out early, but vultures a lazy by nature. I mean, honesly, we wait for you guys to kill stuff for us. One man’s roadkill is another man’s main dish.

RO: Well Rupert, I guess that’ll do it. Thanks again for your time today and we’ll see you out on the roads.

photo by David Braud 
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Moldavia Rabbit, 73

Beloved literature professor Mrs. Moldavia Rabbit, was killed instantly on Saturday night on Old Hillsboro Rd., only meters from her burrow. She was returning from a late night poetry slam where it is rumored, the local “Rotten Peach Moonshine” was in abundance. Despite her auditory prowess, she did not hear the stealthy Prius until it was too late. Her latest work, The Tell Tale Heartache, The Life and Work of Edgar Allen Poe, will be released posthumously in July 2012.

Mrs. Moldavia Rabbit
©2012 David Braud Photography
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